These days are strange. I, as many of my friends, am existing in that empty space between the end of an adventure and real life...or the beginning of the next adventure. Clinging onto the people who link me to the past six months. Horribly in debt and directionless while everyone else on earth gets on with the nine to five grind like a hurricane of robotic efficiency all around us. There have been lengthy phonecalls and facebook chats and even a drunken apres ski season apres ski party. Desperate attempts to keep the flame burning.
For my part there have also been several financially unreasonable trips up to London to see a certain person. It turns out that Scruffy but Handsome isn't actually that scruffy in real life. In fact I would go so far as to call him quite neat at a push. It's funny how many people you can be in one lifetime. His house is far too easy to get to from Victoria station for there to be a good excuse not to drop in on him on the way to and from 'business' meetings with my new boss for a cheeky fumble. And I'm dreadful....absolutely dreadful.... at resisting temptation.
Question: Have you ever turned up to a business meeting with the taste of someone elses fluids still in your mouth, and had to sit there and chat reasonably about something mundane...oooh, say, accountancy software....with a straight face, whilst battling to stifle flashbacks of precisely how filthy you were being only fifteen minutes ago? No - a first for me too. But thoroughly amusing.
They say life is what happens while you're making plans. So I have sworn to appreciate this rare and unusual time in no-man's land. My time to do with what I wish. I suspect one day in twenty five years when I'm feeling wistful I will squint back over my dim memories at these sweet spring days, melting into summer, when I spent so many luscious and lazy hours with the boy, and wonder ...whatever happened to him... and us?
If I could, I would bottle this time, put it on the shelf, and in the future when I'm fading, take little sips to remind me how warm and delicious life can be.