Tales of catastophe, sex and squalor from the Alpine Underbelly...

Belle de Neige

Tuesday, 19 January 2010


Last night it appears I was hammered enough to think it a fabulous idea to go to a club...a notorious den of iniquity in the ski resort. A club so expensive it actually makes your wallet bleed.

For a warm glass (glass! not pint) of Heineken, I paid 9 Euros (yes, shoppers, that's NINE). The fuckers couldn't even be arsed to refrigerate it. And that's with a seasonaire's discount. If you punters fancied a warm beer there you could add another 10 Euros onto that figure.

However, as ridiculous as it sounds that is not what the oooops is for.

Question: Is it ever alright to shag someone... and therefore spend some time in his room thereby getting to know his cute room mate...then decide the room mate is a far superior gent and end up getting intimate with said room mate in the original conquest's bed? Obviously not all on the same night.

Hmm. Oooops.

Well, this is what I may have done with Skater Boy's room mate, who we shall call Scruffy-but-Handsome for the sake of argument. I couldn't resist. He is cute as a button. Unfortunately Skater Boy interrupted our liaison before it really took off by coming home with irksome blonde 19-year-old in tow.

Since my birthday Skater Boy, as beguiling as he is (great aftershave) seems to have only room in his head for skiing and spliffs. And occasionally said intensely irritating blonde 19-year-old who dearest H says looks like a cross between a Bunny Rabbit and Malibu Barbie. Consequently conversation has become rather stilted, and since the spliffs hinder his...erm.... well.... he's just not much use to any excitable lady really.

Scruffy-but-Handsome is far too young for me, but has mussy hair, twinkly eyes and laughs at my jokes. Especially the ones no one else gets. He also knows about the laws of physics, invented the 'space facial' (gravity-free cum shot), came up with the superb ideas of a magic up-hill going snow board and a sledge pulled by 500 chihuahuas, is as appreciative of chair-lift mountain views as I am and got disproportionately excited when I told him about the Blue Moon we had over New Year.

Now how can you resist a chap like that?

A demain.

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