Tales of catastophe, sex and squalor from the Alpine Underbelly...

Belle de Neige

Sunday, 31 January 2010

More sex than I know what to do with...

In last 24 hours I have:

Driven to Lyon and back. Oh the horrors of the airport transfer. The grumpy passengers, wanted the heat on so high it would send Taylor Durden to sleep. No matter how many z's I have as soon as I hit that motorway the eyes start to go. The soporific effect of the glare from the road and/or the lights coming at you in thick fog. Everything becomes dreamlike, as if you're in a computer game - with that horrible knowledge that you have at least 2 more hours of battling to keep yourself conscious before you're even at the foot of the mountain. I did actually pass out a little bit at the wheel the other week. But don't panic campers, I have stocked the minibus with red bull for next time. So far, I've hit the curb, backed into a chalet roof, skidded almost into a parked car and had the wing mirror nearly ripped off by some dildo who didn't see me in his blind spot. All with passengers in. Tops.

Had a lot of sex by the fire in a 15 million EURO chalet.
Well...there are no clients in this week, you see. So it would have been, not rude, but absolutely fucking scandalous not to invite SbH round and, in his words, "have more sex than I even know what to do with!" So I lit the fire, cracked open a bottle, made up one of the double beds and we got cosy. Yep - alpine winter wonderland hide away. 3 orgasms later, who says there are no perks to this job? Tick!

Cleaned about 4000 toilets. I really am quite bored of toilet cleaning now.

Had a bit of a moment. I couldn't ski today. Which is a massive arsefuck because it's a bluebird day. Fresh powder is straining the branches of the trees, candyfloss clouds littering a brilliant toothpaste-blue sky. I sat on the windowsill smoking and drinking tea just staring at the mountains, intricate, tree-laced. A huge Vienetta ice cream. When it's cloudy here, it's as if everything is a black and white photo of itself - and on a day like today it reminds me of Dorothy landing in Oz. The colours are just suddenly more beautiful than you can describe. And that was enough to make me smile. Sitting in the window with the sun on my face.

A demain.

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